Sure, you can date and do whatever the heck you want to do. However, you’re going to find that these days less and less people smoke and more and more people have a problem with it. If you’re looking to market yourself in the best way you can on an online dating site, or with dating in general, you may want to consider kicking that habit to the curb… or hiding it until you’ve locked down that relationship (think Carrie and Aidan).
Smoking and Dating
Out of every 100 people you meet (or date), 18 of them will be smokers. That’s not a whole lot.
In Pfizer’s article, New Survey Reveals What Match.Com Members Think About Smoking Cigarettes And Dating, the following stats are revealed:
- “Nearly 9 out of 10 (89 percent) respondents said they prefer not to date someone who smokes, and when asked which actions were unacceptable on a first date, more said taking a smoke break (51 percent) than checking one’s phone (45 percent) or being late (40 percent).”
- “Fifty seven percent of respondents said they would never date a smoker.“
- “The top concerns about dating a smoker were the smokers’ long-term health (78 percent), the smell of cigarettes on their person (75 percent) or in their home/vehicle (80 percent) and their own personal health (62 percent).”
- “When it comes to being a good kisser, 78 percent of respondents think fresh breath is the top attribute; 78 percent also said they mind kissing a smoker after they have had a cigarette.”
To summarize: smoking = bad, not smoking = good.
“Sorry, I Don’t Date Smokers”
I smoked for 11 years and when I first entered the dating scene, I experienced this rejection a few times. Non-smokers really don’t dig smokers. I finally quit at age 30 (thank you vanity) and I have been an electronic vapor ever since. Now that I’m on the other side, I can honestly say yeah, it ain’t fun kissin’ a smoker. I wouldn’t say it tastes like an ashtray (freaking drama queens), but it’s not good nonetheless.
Not only do non-smokers dislike it, ex-smokers aren’t too keen on it either. In fact, they’re usually the biggest assholes about smoking – constantly telling you how they quit and how much better life is without it. You can stop with the soapbox, thanks.
I prefer not to automatically place myself in a “No” category. I had all the right reasons to quit – I’m in my thirties, I give a shit about the way I look, I’m sick of managing the habit, and I want to date anyone I want to.
Have You Tried Vaping? Hint – Non-Smokers Are Pretty Cool With It
Vaping was supposed to be a temporary layover on my flight to a nicotine-free existence (typing this post on a plane, hence the metaphor), but I ended up falling in love with it. I am now a vapor and I will say YES, it’s far better than smoking ever was, except for one thing… it’s not a real cigarette.
I’ve found men are really cool with my vaping habit, however I have had a couple men say they’re going to try to get me off of it. Hey, I’m a red marker. If you want a blue one, go back to the dating store and buy one, guy.
Should I Quit if I Want to Date?
It’s as simple as this:
- If you’re a smoker and you aren’t ready (or never plan) to quit, keep on smoking, baby! Be prepared for rejection on the dating scene, though. Look for fellow smokers on those dating sites if you prefer not to hear the whining and lectures.
- If you’re a smoker and you’re interested in quitting, dating can be a good motivator! Rejection is no fun and getting wrinkles early isn’t either. You ever notice how people tend to lose weight once they’re on the dating scene? It’s all about bettering yourself to catch that prime piece of mate real estate, right? Well, use that inner-narcissism and try switching to vaping and see how your luck fares. Or quit altogether and enjoy a nicotine-free (along with a hellish first 5 days) existence! But if you do, don’t become an asshole about it, please. You will find the dating scene will open up quite a bit for you once you’re not being dropped in a “Red Flag” category.
Should I Lie About My Smoking?
It all depends on what type of bullshit you’re willing to have in your life. If keeping secrets, lying, and covering your tracks sounds like a regular Tuesday, go for it. Be prepared for issues later on, however, when your mate finds out. You know the saying – if they lied about that, what else could they be lying about?
As hard as rejection is to experience, at our core, we each want someone to love us for exactly who we are, NOT who we could be. If you’re a smoker, that’s a pretty big lifestyle, ugh, style. It costs money and time. It requires regular breaks throughout the day. It can be a health liability. It does smell and it does cause bad breath. You want your potential mate to love you despite these nuisances. You don’t want to start a relationship off lying about something that you enjoy and that dictates a large part of your day.
However, perhaps you don’t think of it as a habit, but rather something you enjoy and can quit anytime… right.
Ok, then. Go ahead and list yourself as a non-smoker on that dating site. Buy a box of patches and plan your secret smoke sessions on those dates. Lie about your uber-healthy lifestyle and the fact that you love to hike (what smoker loves that shit?).
And then, once you’ve landed yourself a relationship, go ahead and bring out that smoke. Tell them how it’s not a big deal, which is why you never mentioned it. Don’t forget to also mention your job that you actually lost a month before meeting them, the fact that you really hate their music, and that you’ve never been faithful in a relationship before… because, if you lied about smoking, what the hell else are you lying about?
The Final Verdict
Quit smoking or don’t… it’s your choice. Be yourself, handle rejection with dignity, and find someone who loves you for who you are.