I certainly don’t expect every guy who messages me to be a Romeo, but these guys have lowered the bar far past ridiculous. Here’s a quick collection of some of the WORST sexual online dating messages I have ever received…
#1. I’d like to bend you over…
At least he knows there are in fact 50… but I honestly have no idea what the hell this is supposed to mean.
#2. The Infamous Moby Clit…
If it is what? In my pants or the right size? If it’s the wrong size, can this still work? “Moby Dick” would imply ginormous. Is mine big enough? If he ended up liking me, would that mean mine is ginormous? Do I want a ginormous one? Is that what guys are into? Ugh, I already stress over the size of my ass… now I have to overthink that body part too?!
Honestly, this has to be the worst pickup line I have EVER received. Thanks, dude – think I’m over online dating now.
#3. RBGFE
I had NO IDEA what the hell RBGFE meant, so I did what any modern woman does to learn more about the beauty that is the English language… I googled that shit:
Urban Dictionary defines “RBGFE” as “Redbook Girl Friend Experience.”
Screenshot of Urban Dictionary’s RBGFE Definition
Based on that definition, I can only assume he’s asking if I’m a whore who knows how to “play girlfriend” and would be worth donating my services to him for 1 hour. Classy guy!
Best part = his profile pic is of him and his child and one of his many interests is “church.”
#4. Teams of horses…
Ugh… how many cops would it take, douche?
#5. Favorite position…
My favorite position? My finger… on my mouse… clicking the delete button… perv.
BONUS: Bust…
This one is courtesy of a friend of mine. She received this charming message last year while indulging in the bliss that is online dating. She never met him… I wonder why? At least he was polite about asking first.
These guys have lowered the bar far past ridiculous #onlinedatingmessages
Hope you enjoyed my online dating hell. Until next time… keep clickin’ that delete button ;).
What’s the most outrageous sexual online dating message you’ve ever received? Share in the comments below!
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