5 Outrageous Sexual Online Dating Messages

I certainly don’t expect every guy who messages me to be a Romeo, but these guys have lowered the bar far past ridiculous. Here’s a quick collection of some of the WORST sexual online dating messages I have ever received…

#1. I’d like to bend you over…

Online Dating Messages - Bend You Over a Barrel

At least he knows there are in fact 50… but I honestly have no idea what the hell this is supposed to mean.

#2. The Infamous Moby Clit…

Online Dating Messages - Moby Clit

If it is what? In my pants or the right size? If it’s the wrong size, can this still work? “Moby Dick” would imply ginormous. Is mine big enough? If he ended up liking me, would that mean mine is ginormous? Do I want a ginormous one? Is that what guys are into? Ugh, I already stress over the size of my ass… now I have to overthink that body part too?!

Honestly, this has to be the worst pickup line I have EVER received. Thanks, dude – think I’m over online dating now.


Online Dating Messages - RBGFE

I had NO IDEA what the hell RBGFE meant, so I did what any modern woman does to learn more about the beauty that is the English language… I googled that shit:

Urban Dictionary defines “RBGFE” as “Redbook Girl Friend Experience.”

Urban Dictionary Defines RBGFE

Screenshot of Urban Dictionary’s RBGFE Definition

DATING INFO: Redbook is the free Bay Area online escort directory that was recently shut down.

Based on that definition, I can only assume he’s asking if I’m a whore who knows how to “play girlfriend” and would be worth donating my services to him for 1 hour. Classy guy!

Best part = his profile pic is of him and his child and one of his many interests is “church.”

#4. Teams of horses…

Online Dating Messages - Teams of Horses

Ugh… how many cops would it take, douche?

#5. Favorite position…

Online Dating Messages - Favorite Position

My favorite position? My finger… on my mouse… clicking the delete button… perv.

BONUS: Bust…

Online Dating Messages - Bust On Your Face

This one is courtesy of a friend of mine. She received this charming message last year while indulging in the bliss that is online dating. She never met him… I wonder why? At least he was polite about asking first.

These guys have lowered the bar far past ridiculous #onlinedatingmessages

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Hope you enjoyed my online dating hell. Until next time… keep clickin’ that delete button ;).

What’s the most outrageous sexual online dating message you’ve ever received? Share in the comments below!

Internet's Top Dating Coach - Evan Marc Katz - offers dating and relationship advice to smart, strong, successful women... Click here to find out more!

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Author: Brookell

Welcome to SWD! This is my blog and my online dating hell.

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