So, the chemistry was great over the phone and by text, but the in-person meet-n-greet didn’t go so well, huh?
Unfortunately, you seem to be the only one aware of that as you wake up to an after-the-first-date good morning text. Well, this is awkward…
Now you’re faced with the dreaded “how do I make this person go away” decision. Here are 5 ideas to help you close this deal out and move onto the next.
#1: Ignore Them
Ignoring texts is the universal sign of “I’m just not that into you.” It’s also the easiest way to say goodbye – no confrontation, no rejection, no tears or threats of suicide. But, you MUST stick with it and be consistent.
- They send a funny text – You laugh to yourself and ignore that shit.
- They send a cute photo of them and their kid – YOU. HATE. KIDS… ignore that shit.
- They ask if you’re still interested – You give them the universal sign for “f-off” and ignore that shit.
Unfortunately, not everyone speaks Universe, so a small percentage of people will continue to text long past the point of awkwardness. In those cases, move onto the next option…
#2: Lie
Here are a few options for ya…
Lie #1:
“Hey, yeah the date was great, but on my way home I pulled over to offer a hitchhiker a ride. It turns out we both live in the same neighborhood, have the same taste in music, and hate cats. I think I’m in love and really want to see where this goes.”
Lie #2:
“Hey, yeah the date was great, but this morning my boss at Starbucks asked if I would be willing to relocate to the Philippians… they’re in desperate need of baristas there. I leave tomorrow!”
Lie #3:
“Hey, yeah the date was great, but my doctor called today and told me I only have 6 months to live. I don’t think it would be fair to get into a relationship right now.”
Just make sure they don’t live anywhere near you if you choose to lie about your upcoming address change or life expectancy.
#3: Lose Your Phone
Drop it. Now. Throw it out the car window. Leave it at the mall. Toss it into the little pond near your house. GET THE FUCK RID OF IT and start over…
And don’t forget to block them from your dating profile/social media. Absolutely no further communication can occur since the last thing you want is to get a Facebook message from them immediately after “losing” your $400 phone.
#4: Fake Your Own Death
This one requires a lot of planning and coordination, but with some proper effort (and a few connections in the media) you can fake your own death and avoid any further communication…. the downside is you won’t be able to use your own pictures on the new dating profile you will have to set up.
#5: Tell the Truth
Though the options above are quite tempting, honesty is usually the best policy. I know it’s uncomfortable to reject someone. I know you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I know this doesn’t always work (far too often I’ve had men argue with me on the topic of whether there was chemistry or not…. essentially, if they feel it, it exists… period). But, honesty is actually the most helpful thing you can do for them in this situation – it lets them move on QUICKLY. Ignoring often leads to hours of contemplation…
- Did they receive my text?
- Maybe their phone is broken.
- Maybe my phone is broken.
- Maybe they’re dead (ideal if you chose option 4 above).
Rather than make them sit and wonder, do them a favor and just SAY IT… “Hey, yeah the date was great, but I didn’t really feel the chemistry I’m looking for. It was nice meeting you and I wish you luck!”
However, refrain from going too far with the honesty bug. These are examples to avoid:
- “Hey, yeah the date was great, but you looked WAY better in your pics.”
- “Hey, yeah the date was great, but I can’t date a man who has effeminate hand gestures.”
- “Hey, yeah the date was great, but the sex was/would be lousy with the complete lack of sexual appeal I have for you.”
Hey, yeah the date was great, but I can’t date a man who has effeminate hand gestures.
Here are some other examples of first date honesty:
Hope you enjoyed these 5 tips on how to say “No, Thanks” after a first date.
How do you say “No, Thanks” after a first date? Leave your ideas in the comments below!
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