The Time I Canceled eHarmony and Got Jinxed by ePhil

I re-subscribed to my eHarmony account one optimistic (a.k.a. frustrated with dating and at the gates of Jadesville) Sunday evening. I have never had luck on this particular site… too few matches, very little attraction to them, overly restrictive communication, yada yada. However, I was willing to try it again if I could retake my personality test and give it another go!

The very next night, I made the hilariously bad decision to get back together with my ex-boyfriend/best friend. Why a bad decision? Because he was my best friend. If this didn’t end up working out, well… no more bestie :(.

The next day, I decided to see if both eHarmony and Match (also subscribed to that Sunday) would be willing to refund me. It had been less than 48 hours and I hadn’t communicated with anyone yet. I expected some resistance, but I didn’t expect what I actually got…

I called Match first…

My Match Cancelation:

Upon getting in touch with a customer service rep at Match, I embarrassingly explained the situation and asked if there was any chance I could cancel and be refunded. The gentleman was actually really nice and happy for me, explaining, “That’s what we hope you’ll find, so I’ll be happy to refund you!” I couldn’t believe it… what a nice guy and a nice service. They totally lived up to an image of being in it for love, not money. I would receive my money back in 3 business days… Nice!

I then called eHarmony

My eHarmony Cancelation:

Upon getting in touch with a customer service rep at eHarmony, I AGAIN embarrassingly explained the situation and asked if there was any chance I could cancel and be refunded. What the rep said next literally dropped my jaw…

CUSTOMER SERVICE REP:
Well, let me ask you – why did you break up with your ex in the first place?
ME:
Ugh, I don’t care to talk about that with you.
CUSTOMER SERVICE REP:
Here’s why I ask – we get a lot of these calls where people end up going back to an ex. We always like to say they’re an “Ex” for a reason, ha ha. We then get a call about 5 days later from the person stating it didn’t work out (again) and that they want to re-subscribe for the same rate they had locked in earlier.

So, let me offer you this… I’ll extend your return period to 14 days. In that time, if it doesn’t work out, you can continue with your account at the same great rate you have now. If things work out (and of course, that’s what we hope for you here), you can cancel.

I could NOT BELIEVE this guy!!!!!! How dare you ask me why I broke up with him, Dr. ePhil. It’s your job to tell me if you can cancel my account or not – it is not your job to analyze my relationship with dude. And you’re giving me TWO WEEKS to decide on the fate of my relationship? Clock’s a tickin’…

I wonder how many people actually tell him their breakup stories. Does he then offer an opinion on the relationship, possibly even persuading someone not to go back and to move on with potential new matches?

I asked for a refund immediately. He said I would have it in 8+ business days. After that experience, only true desperation will get me back onto an eHarmony subscription.

P.S. Dude and I didn’t work out… I think the eHarmony rep jinxed it.

I re-subscribed to Match.

Cue Debbie Downer…

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Have you ever had trouble canceling an online dating account? Tell me about it in the comments below!

Photo Credit: SplitShire

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Brookell

Author: Brookell

Welcome to SWD! This is my blog and my online dating hell.

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